No Kill Phoenix

We all know that toddlers can be meladramatic but this tale tops them all. Last summer we were visiting my parents in Tallahassee, Florida. Their house sits on Lake Jackson and their backyard is a labor of love and their pride and joy (aside from their grandchildren of course). At one end of the pool is a gazebo and at the other is a pond filled with Koi fish. The waterfall cascades down rocks and boulders handpicked by my dad (otherwise know as Papa Bear) and brought from as far away as Michigan.

Much to my mother's horror she discovered a black snake living among the the rocks of the pond.

She shrieked to my dad, "I hate snakes....just kill it!"

I herded the kids in the house as I saw my dad appear pondside with a small pistol. We stood at the windows of the Florida room as my dad and mom crept about the pond. Mom poked greenery with sticks and Dad squinted ready to fire at anything that moved.

"There it is!" Mom squealed.

"Don't move, I've got him," Dad uttered with authority.

I heard the gun go off a few times and assumed they must have killed the bugger. I hugged Phoenix in my arms and went back outside with Maginnis trailing behind me. I wanted to show them the dead snake. Upon reaching the deck above the falls, Dad hollered, "Don't move!"

I saw him take aim, and the wheels in my head frantically spun. The snake wasn't dead. He had missed. He had gotten away. Dad was going to shoot again and there was no time to get back in the house. There was no time to warn the boys either.

BANG! A blood curdling scream pierced my left ear and Phoenix frantically clung to me, shaking with terror.

"We got him this time!" Mom celebrated.

"You shot me! Papa Bear shot me!" Phoenix wailed, his hands flying to his neck.

It was hard not to laugh as I ran my hands over every bit of Phoenix's little trembling body. I repeatedly showed him my hands to prove there was no blood and that he was bullet free. He looked at my dad with a somber "how could you" countenance and grabbed at his neck sure that he had been shot.

"Papa Bear killed a snake. He would never hurt you, Baby," I reasoned.

"Kill snake? No kill Phoenix?"

"You're perfectly fine," I assured.