The Low Down on the Wipe Down

While my kid can't be a comedian every day, I have several stories from the past to share. Those of you that have kids can appreciate this and those of you that don't have something to look forward to. I began searching thru photos to prompt today's blog and came across one taken about 18 months ago. At the time the photo was taken Nix had just finished potty training and we were visiting my sister in Indiana. Just because your kid may know when he has to go doesn't mean he has the art of "wiping" down.

Now, at age 4, Nix will call me from the bathroom, "Maaaaama....come wipe my butt!"

Imagine my gaping jaw upon entering the bathroom 18 months ago and finding my child, feet dangling, bottom hanging in the pot, and a mountain of toilet paper next to him on the floor.

I tried to look serious and asked, "Phoenix, what happened?"

"Mama, I try to get paper but d'ere was too much!"

My serious charade came crashing to the floor with laughter.

Some of the most amusing moments seem to happen when Nix is in the bathroom. For instance, why does my child feel the need to profess his love for me while doing his business?

Nix bellows from the bathroom, "Maaaaaama?"

"Yeeees, Baby? You need me to wipe you?"

"No, Mama. I just love you."

And if that's not enough, when I do my obligatory wiping he leans forward, wraps his arms around my knees and says, "Mama, I love you sooooo much."

Nobody told me before having kids that taking your kid to the potty would be such a bonding experience!

Of course sentimental potty bonding time does not go both ways (much to both my boys dismay).

"Believe it or not...Mommy likes to go potty alone...with the door closed...really!"

I'm met with the deer in the headlights look. Blink. Blink.

"I'm closing the door now."

My boyfriend on the other hand has introduced a whole new level of grossness to potty time.

When he "pollutes" the bathroom, he entices the boys with "Hey, did you leave some money in the bathroom? You better go and look; I think it might be yours."

Maginnis looks cautiously at David. Phoenix takes off running straight for the gas chamber then comes out green, coughing and laughing.

Meanwhile, the girls (who know their dad's game all too well) say, "We told you not to go in there!"